Next time?

Wow! That looks like fun I thought as I gazed up at The Ridge at Loveland ski area on Sunday and saw three skiers floating down an area of untracked powder. If only we had time to get up there. Doug and I were planning on leaving the ski area early to avoid the nightmare traffic jams that always happen on ski weekends when everyone is trying to get back home to Colorado’s Front Range. Getting to the area where these people had been skiing involved signing a waiver down at the lift ticket office and then riding the new Loveland Ridge Cat. We figured it would take at least an hour to get our pass and then ride all the necessary lifts to get to the area where the snowcat picked skiers up. Not to mention that the snowcat stopped operating at 2:30 p.m. We would really have to rush to catch the last ride.

That seemed like a lot to do for one run, and I almost shrugged it off  thinking it wasn’t worth the hassle. Anyway, we had passes to the ski area and there was always next time, right?

As I sat there in the snow looking up at the snowy ridge, I had this horrible nagging feeling that maybe there wouldn’t be a next time to do that run. I hate having depressing thoughts like that, and I really do try to stay positive as much as I can. However, sometimes the downer feelings sneak in and this was one of those times.

This Thursday, I am going in for an MRI of my left hip. I have been experiencing a rapid worsening of pain in the joint. What started out as a dull ache in the beginning of January has now changed to a sharp pain whenever I lift my leg in a certain position. The joint is starting to hurt when I walk and it feels alarmingly like the avascular necrosis (AVN) in my shoulder. Though I am definitely staying hopeful, I am also scared of what the MRI might reveal. If the results came back showing AVN, I am pretty sure snowboarding black diamond runs on The Ridge would be out of the question.

I suddenly had this incredible drive to get up there and to the run right away. There was no time to waste! Who cared about getting stuck in traffic. Doug and I raced down the mountain, got our passes for the Ridge Cat and made our way up the lifts to the loading zone for the vehicle.

This isn’t the first time since being diagnosed with AVN that I have had these sorts of thoughts. Last Friday I went to a two-hour Zumba dance party at my gym. Doing salsa moves, jumping around and swinging my hips was so much fun, and I smiled the entire time. Still, the dreaded thought once again entered my head: Would this be the last time I would get to dance so hard? Just in case, I closed my eyes and focused on the lovely sensation of my body moving to the music. Don’t ever forget how amazing this is I thought.

A couple of weeks ago I went to the rock climbing gym. My orthopedic surgeon had said it was okay to still climb as long as I followed some restrictions, avoided doing anything that elicited pain, and didn’t push too hard. I started tentatively–not knowing how my shoulder would handle things. Soon I realized that if I only climbed with my arms in front of me and did not do any moves where I was reaching far out to the side or back, I was fine. On the last climb of the day, I paid close attention to how strong and powerful I felt when to reaching up for a hold and making my way to the next one. Would there be a time in the near future when I couldn’t remember what that felt like due to decreased mobility?

First time climbing after my avascular necrosis diagnosis and still going strong.
My first time climbing after my avascular necrosis diagnosis. I was being cautious, but still felt strong.

On New Year’s Eve, I went ice skating with my brother-in-law’s family. As everyone went back to the warming room to take off their skates, I stayed behind and did a few laps. Once again I closed my eyes and tuned into the feeling of my legs gliding over the ice hoping to commit it to memory in the event that I wouldn’t be able to do it again.

Ice skating on New Year's Eve.
Ice skating on New Year’s Eve.

As I sat on The Ridge looking out at the gorgeous snow-capped peaks in the distance, I thought back to the climbing, ice skating and zumba instances and once again wondered if this was the last time I would be clicking my boots into my bindings and flying down a black diamond run. Sure, these thoughts were rather melancholy and I wished I could have been thinking about happier things. However, there was one silver lining to having these feelings: they made me want to soak up the moment and savor every bit of joy that was found there.

I tilted my board towards the fall line and began to slide down the slope. As I picked up speed, I listened to the wind rush past my ears and felt snow crystals touch my smiling cheeks. I felt my body turn into this amazingly coordinated machine and bend and sway with the subtle nuances of the terrain. With years of practice, it knew the exact pressure I needed to exert on the board to make it arc gracefully through the powder. I felt the sensations in my feet as I rolled from my heel-side edge to toe-side and heard the noise of my board slicing its way through the snow. I felt agile, giggly and content and wished that slope could have gone on for at least ten more miles.

I don’t know what Thursday’s test will reveal. Maybe I will have AVN in my hip. Perhaps the pain is just from a tweaked tendon. Whatever the results–that was one heck of a snowboard ride! Perhaps we all need to delight in those amazing moments as if there will be no next time.

Boarding the Loveland Ridge Cat
Boarding the Loveland Ridge Cat.
Unloading from the Ridge Cat. The individual behind me had just reminded us that all the terrain served by the snowcat was expert only. No turning back now!
Eagerly anticipating the run. The individual behind me had just reminded us that all the terrain served by the snowcat was expert-only. No turning back now!

The Phoenix magazine now available online

Beyond great doctors and following the treatment plans they prescribe, one of the things I find most important when dealing with difficult medical conditions is maintaining a sense of hope.  I simply have to be able to believe that the possibility of a good outcome exists, even if I know the road to get there might not be easy or certain. When I was facing ostomy surgery, one of my biggest sources of hope was The Phoenix magazine, the official publication of the nonprofit United Ostomy Associations of America. The minute I stumbled upon it online, I subscribed and bought all the back issues. I eagerly read every word of every issue. Along with a vast array of educational articles about products and managing an ostomy, there were countless inspirational stories about people with ostomies who were out there living life to the fullest. I learned about a woman who had hiked the Appalachian Trail and another who had visited China. I found out about a climbing guide in Alaska who had an ostomy and another individual who had climbed Everest. Reading about these people was as important as figuring out how to get my wafer to stick: they allowed me to visualize what my life could be like in the future. They gave me hope.

Last fall, I began contributing to The Phoenix myself by wring the quarterly Ostomy Outdoors column. This is certainly something I never would have visualized as being part of my future while lying in my hospital bed a couple of years ago! Life is full of beautiful surprises and being able to help people through the same magazine that provided so much inspiration for me is humbling.

Whether you are facing surgery, just recovering, or a seasoned ostomate, each issue is full of great articles on supplies, skin care, stories about others who have had ostomy surgery and so many other topics. And now it is even easier to view the publication! The UOAA is offering an online subscription for only $19.95. Find out more information and get a free preview of the online winter issue at the following link.

And speaking of hope — I hope to never let a season go by where The Phoenix doesn’t show up in my mailbox. It is such an invaluable resource for me.

Phoenix-post-web-version
The Phoenix magazine is as important as wafers, pouches and barrier rings when it comes to my life with an ostomy.

Lessons from a winter hiking trip

Sometimes after a busy summer season of packing and unpacking for an outdoor trip practically every weekend, I need a break. October and November were quiet months. I did some trail running, but didn’t go on any major adventures. The rest from the hectic pace felt wonderful and much needed.

Another reason I have been taking it easy is that I developed some unusual pain in my left shoulder in mid-October. My shoulder did great on my two-week climbing trip, but a couple of weeks after returning, the joint started to throb and hurt constantly. Ever since I was a teen, I have had off-and-on trouble with tendonitis in that joint and had even been working with my physical therapist over the summer to get my shoulder stronger and resolve these issues. Things had been going splendidly with the therapy, and before my climbing trip, my physical therapist thought I might even be close to not needing another appointment.

Unfortunately, that is not how things worked out. The new shoulder pain is different than what I had come to expect with my occasional bouts of tendonitis. Because of this, both my PT and doctor thought it would be a good idea to get an MRI. The test results showed tendinosis (a chronic form of  tendonitis) and also bone-marrow swelling in the head of my humerus. What this means exactly I do not know. My primary care doctor has referred me to orthopedist, but my appointment isn’t for another week. Of course, my mind once again wants to run to all the scary what-ifs of the situation. What if the marrow swelling isn’t from the tendinosis and is instead  being caused by… (fill in the blank with numerous frightening conditions here). What if I can never rock climb again? Ahhhhhh……

However, if there is one thing UC and having an ileostomy has taught me, it is that dealing with uncertainty is part of life. Instead of letting myself fall into my usual pattern of worry, I am going to try to forget about my shoulder until my appointment next week and focus on the activities I can do. One of these is hiking. Even with a backpack, hiking doesn’t seem to bother my shoulder at all. And on the plus side–hiking is the most important activity I need to be doing right now to train for Rainier.

So on Sunday, I set out with Doug and his dad to hike up a peak. Our original plan was to hike James Peak (elevation 13,294′). However, just before exiting the freeway for that destination, we had an idea. Let’s do a 14er instead! The road leading to Grays Peak (elevation 14,270′) was just a few exits up the road. Colorado is experiencing a very dry winter, and with the trailhead access snow-free and avalanche danger minimal, it was the perfect chance to get to the top of this peak.

The high temperature for the elevation we were at was in the mid-30-degree range, but with 30 mph winds, it felt much colder. I had packed 28 pounds of gear, including lots of warm clothes, food and three liters of water (Doug also carried an extra liter for me). I was surprised at how great I felt hiking at such high elevations with this weight. I had been expecting it to feel much harder after not hiking any big peaks since July. We made it to the summit in late afternoon and enjoyed the gorgeous views, including those of close-by Torreys Peak, another 14er. Though we had earlier thought about trying to do both peaks, we realized that the late departure from the trailhead on this spontaneous trip would not afford us enough daylight to get in double summits.

Descending Grays Peak with Torreys Peak in the distance. So close but oh so far.
Descending Grays Peak with Torreys Peak in the distance. So close but yet so far.

My ostomy caused no issues on the hike. I had to swap out closed-end pouches (I prefer these to drainables on peak climbing days) twice during the excursion. At one point on the ascent, I realized that my pouch was getting fairly full. I was behind a ridge that offered some protection from the wind and there was also a tall cairn to duck next to. Doug and his dad were a little ways back on the trail and there was another party about 500 feet behind them. There was no one coming the other direction, so I decided to seize the opportunity to swap out my pouch right there on the side of the trail. I grabbed a small trash bag and fresh pouch out of my pack, ducked behind the cairn, pulled the waistband of my softshell pants down and quickly swapped out pouches. By the time Doug and his dad caught up, I had the used pouch and my other supplies packed up and was ready to keep hiking. I know that on Rainier, I am not going to have much privacy when roped up with teammates on a glacier. It is reassuring to know that I can swap out pouches so quickly and discreetly.

Ducking behind this cairn to swap out my closed-end pouch right along the trail was easy and discreet.
When no one was close by, I ducked behind this cairn to swap out my closed-end pouch right along the trail on the ascent. I also swapped out a pouch on the decent. For that one, I just walked off the trail about 50 feet and turned my back so that no one could see what I was doing. I continue to discover that using closed-end pouches on these types of hikes is a very easy and discreet way of managing an ostomy.

The big challenge for me on this particular hike was the cold and wind. It was even more frigid than during our winter hike up Grizzly Peak last December, captured here on video.

Fortunately, in preparation for Rainier, I had purchased several new clothing items. This was a perfect chance to test them out. One new addition to my outdoor clothing quiver is a super warm down jacket with a hood. I have lighter jackets, but only this one is warm enough for extremely cold conditions. As I stuffed the two pounds of down luxury into my pack before the hike, I really thought it was going to be overkill. However, as  I threw this jacket on at breaks and at the summit, I soon realized it was a lifesaver.

Despite taking part in countless winter camping and backpacking trips, ice climbs and peak ascents over the years (including several since my ostomy surgery), I have never been as cold on a trip as I was on this particular hike. I am not sure why this was the case as I was dressed well and eating and drinking plenty. Regardless, some combination of wind, cold, shade, and my body on that given day had me freezing. On the summit I was so chilled that I could hardly grip anything. I had to use my teeth to zip up my jacket. As I descended back to the car, I kept having the urge to lie down and sleep. I would pass a boulder and think wow, that looks like a comfy spot to snooze for a little while. But then I would see Doug and his dad coming up behind me and would realize I didn’t have time for a nap. I don’t know if I was hypothermic, but if not, I was close. I shudder to think about how cold I would have gotten had I decided not to bring that down jacket.

On the summit with Doug and his dad in my super warm puffy down jacket.
On the summit in my super warm puffy down jacket.

I realize that having an extra-warm clothing item like this during cold temperature activities is especially important with my ostomy. Even though it only takes a couple of minutes to stop along the trail and swap out a pouch, I do have to expose a small section of my belly to the elements. In extremely cold temperatures, it doesn’t take long to lose heat by doing this. Packing conservatively with plenty of warm clothes is of paramount importance.

I can’t wait to head out on our next training hike, and I am starting to compile a list of peaks to attempt that have good winter trailhead access and low avalanche danger. For future training hikes, I will have to progressively increase my pack weight to at least 40 pounds (the expected weight of my pack on Rainier). I guess this means I can bring an extra large lunch next time!

Happy travels! (feat. new video)

Last month, I wrote about a climbing road trip that Doug and I took to Idaho and Oregon. We finally completed a video highlighting the vacation. It is a long film at 30 minutes, but there was a lot to cover on this 17-day adventure.

Getting out and traveling with your ostomy provides some very significant confidence-building opportunities. You have to change and empty your appliance in unfamiliar surroundings and you must learn how to adapt to having an ostomy in unique situations. Unknowns abound with each bend in the road and each new town on the map. Dealing with each of these new situations stretches your comfort zone and leads to growth and tenacity. So, if you are just recovering from surgery, plan a trip if you can — even if it is just a weekend getaway.  If you have had your surgery for a while, get out on a longer excursion and try something new.

Ring around the stoma: my best defense against leaks

In approaching the two-year anniversary of my ostomy surgery, I was looking back at an email I wrote to Doug from the hospital during my final severe UC flare. A few days before writing it, I had received my very first infusion of Remicade. It had worked wonders to get my symptoms under control, but I did not want to take such a potent drug for the rest of my life if it could be avoided. I was strongly leaning towards pursuing surgery once I got out of the hospital and wasn’t so sick and weak (a decision that became much clearer when side effects of the drug became more than I could bear). Even though I was quite confident that I wanted surgery, I was still scared of getting an ostomy due to the horror stories I read on the internet–especially the ones that revolved around leaks. I had just read a worrisome tale on the web when I sent this message:

October 2, 2010

Doug,

This all sounds so complicated and overwhelming. I DON’T want to be infused with drugs the rest of my life but this sounds so hard too. What if I can’t find a way to go climbing or backpacking without creating a leaky poopy mess? Are you confident we will be able to figure this all out together without getting fed up? Maybe it feels different when someone faces surgery in an absolute emergency, but I am choosing this aren’t I? Need some reassurance.

-Heidi

Despite the fears, I knew in my heart that surgery was the route I wanted to take to treat my ulcerative colitis. I met with my surgeon and was then scheduled to meet with my “wound, osotmy and continence nurse” (WOCN). I had lots of questions for her, including several about leaks. She assured me that once I found the products that worked for me, leaks should not be an issue. I liked that answer, but I wasn’t sure I believed it. From all the things I read, leaks just seemed like a given with an ostomy. After my surgery, I stocked my car with spare pants, put waterproof pads on the bed when I slept, and bought a collapsible wash basin to wash potentially poopy clothes on future backpacking trips.

It didn’t take long to experience my first leak. Shortly after I got home from the hospital, wound drainage got under my wafer while I was sleeping and broke down the adhesive. Though not a huge disaster, a little bit of stool did escape. I had been using a strip paste right around the opening, but it did not adhere to my skin well. I decided to set up an appointment with my WOCN to see if she could troubleshoot my problem. After hearing about what happened, she left the room and came back with something that looked like a flat donut made out of Silly Putty. It was called a barrier ring. She showed me how to put it on, gave me a few extras, and told me how to order more. I left the office hoping for the best.

So how long was it until the next leak? It has been almost two years since that appointment and I have yet to get another one. My nurse was absolutely right when she said finding the right products is crucial. For me, a barrier ring was all I needed to become confident that output would not seep out from under my wafer. Whenever people mention leaks, the first thing I ask them is if they have tried a barrier ring.

Barrier rings come in many different brands. The first one I tried was an Adapt Ring by Hollister. I used these for four months and liked them a lot. However, I later tried an Eakin Cohesive Seal by Convatec and found that they were more resistant to erosion from my output and stuck to my skin very well–almost melting onto it. Some people don’t like this because the residue is hard to remove. However, that stickiness is exactly what makes them work so well for me; nothing gets beyond the Eakin. I also tried a ring by Coloplast, but so far, the Eakin Cohesive Seals are my personal favorite. Everyone is different, so it pays to try every brand to see which is the best fit for you.

The other thing I love about barrier rings is how well they protect my skin. Wilbur, my stoma, is an active guy. He wiggles, dances and expands and contracts a lot. To leave room my stoma’s gymnastic routines, I cannot cut my wafer too close to it and need to leave about 1/8 inch of my skin exposed. A barrier ring swells up to fill in this space. At first I was a little shocked by how much the barrier ring turtlenecked around my stoma when it was exposed to moisture, but I soon realized that this is exactly what they are designed to do in order to protect the parastomal skin.

The following photos show my favorite way of attaching a barrier ring. This method minimizes the chances of getting the ring wet which allows it to stick to the skin very well. Along with using a barrier ring, I change my appliance every 3-4 days. Beyond that time frame, my Eakin Cohesive Seals erode and leave my skin exposed.

The barrier ring I use: the Eakin Cohesive Seal.
First, I stretch the hole in the ring to match the size of my stoma. Then I tear one side. (Yes, it appears a manicure might be in order… rock climbing is hard on the fingertips).
After drying off  my skin very well, I hook the ring around my stoma.
I then press the torn edge back together.
Finally, I place the wafer over the barrier ring. You can see the 1/8″ space around my stoma and how the ring fills it in. Within an hour, moisture will cause the ring to swell and turtlneck up the side of the stoma about 1/4″. This keeps output from seeping under my wafer while also protecting my parastomal skin. (See the Skin Sleuthing post to read about the taping method pictured).

Nowadays, the spare pants sit unused in the car (well except for the one time they came to the rescue when I dropped my tail and spilled output all over my trousers), the package of waterproof pads is gathering dust in the closet, and I have not had to do laundry on any backpacking trip. It doesn’t matter whether I am climbing in 95-degree temperatures, snowboarding in the frigid cold or swimming at the pool. I always feel confident that my appliance will not leak during any of my activities when I use a barrier ring. Even in the rare instances when my wafer has peeled up, my barrier ring has always held tight and maintained the seal.

So if you are having leaks and haven’t tried a barrier ring, I highly recommend getting a sample and giving it a go. If the ring doesn’t prevent your leaks, meet with a WOCN and see if they have any other recommendations. Talk with other people with ostomies on the internet or at local ostomy support groups and find out what they suggest. With the right products, leaks with an ostomy shouldn’t be a given; they should be the exception.

Mt. Rainier next summer!

I have a brand new goal to work toward for next summer: a climb of Mt. Rainier (14,411 feet) in Washington’s Cascade Range. Ever since Doug and I backpacked on the lower forested flanks of Mt. Rainier on the Wonderland Trail when we were in college, I have wanted to try the peak. Doug and I had talked of doing it a couple years ago with his Dad, but my illness and surgery delayed those plans. I am ready to dust off this dream, and the three of us will finally give it a go.

A painting of Rainier that I did in 2003. Can’t wait for my adventure there next summer! Copyright 2003 Heidi Skiba.

Though Doug and I rock climb a lot, we do not have experience on peaks with large glaciers (and Rainier is the most heavily glaciated mountain in the Lower 48). We know it would be too dangerous to try Rainier on our own. Therefore, we will be doing the ascent with a guide service, International Mountain Guides (IMG).  This company leads mountaineering trips all over the world and has some of the best guides in the business.

As it turns out, one of the owners of IMG, Phil Ershler, has Crohn’s disease. He and his wife, Susan Ershler, wrote the book Together on Top of the World. The book describes Phil’s challenges with Crohn’s disease and colon cancer and tells the story of the couple’s journey to climb the highest peak on each of the seven continents despite these odds. I went to see Phil and Susan speak in-person in Boulder shortly after they released their book in 2007. This was roughly a year after I had been officially diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, and  I was scared  of what my recent diagnosis might mean to my outdoor adventure-filled life. Their words gave me much hope. I read their amazing book shortly after hearing them speak and was further inspired.

As we started to research our climb with IMG, I emailed Phil to find out if he felt that any of the Rainier trips were feasible with my ostomy. The last thing I wanted to do was get excited about a trip only to find out I might be denied due to my medical condition. I was candid about the extra challenges I now face after ileostomy surgery, but Phil was very encouraging and suggested the route he thought might work out the best. He also warned me that Rainier trips fill very quickly and to get our application in as soon as the 2013 dates were published.

He wasn’t kidding. We knew the trip dates would be published while we were on our climbing road trip, so we were driving into town from our camp every other day to find a place to connect to the internet and check. Turns out the dates were published on the one day we didn’t get to town. By the time we checked the following day, there was only one trip left with three openings during the month-long window of time we wanted.  Thankfully we secured our spots!

Before being officially accepted on the climb, the guide service emailed me with more specifics on the route so that I knew what I was likely to face on the mountain. Among several challenges, the ascent to high camp involves carrying a 40-pound pack for five miles with 5,000 feet of elevation gain.  The final day of the route includes a five- to six-hour ascent to the summit and then a descent all the way to the trailhead. This means a round-trip travel time for that day of up to 16 hours. I had been very open on my application paperwork about my ostomy and the challenges it can present (such as dehydration and my limitations of carrying super heavy loads). The staff  wanted to make sure the conditions of the climb seemed doable to me. IMG was super accommodating and helpful about it all and explained some steps I could take to help meet my hydration and pack-weight needs within the confines of the trip. They were even set up to deal with my gluten-free diet.

After carrying a 40- to 55-pound backpack on several trips since surgery, I was sure that I could handle the load on this climb–especially with time for additional training. Just as I carried extra water on some long all-day climbs this summer, so I would on Rainier. I already had a lot of experience swapping out my ostomy pouches in frigid temperatures and with a harness on. I had no concerns about that part of things. I was sure the climb was within my abilities, but I also had to get signed forms from my regular doctor and surgeon stating that they approved of my participation. After outlining the specifics of the trip to them, neither had any reservations about me taking part in the climb. I was set to go!

It is just starting to settle in that I am actually going to be attempting Rainier. I can’t describe the excitement I am feeling for this adventure. The route that was recommended to me is the easiest one that IMG uses on Rainier. It is a three-and-a-half day trip starting at a beautiful place called Paradise (5,400 feet). We will carry our loads to Camp Muir (10,080 feet) and then move on to a higher camp at the Ingraham Glacier the following day. On the final day of the trip, we will attempt the summit (conditions permitting) and descend to the trailhead. Pack weights are less on this route than most others because some group gear is kept at the already-established camps.

I have to admit that I was really drawn to do one of the longer or more remote Rainier trips described on IMG’s site like the Emmons Glacier climb or even a six-day seminar that includes a lot of technical skill instruction plus an ascent of the peak. In my mind, I am still the woman who has gone on several 30-day backpacking and mountaineering trips into the remote wilderness carrying 75 pounds of gear on my back, but I have to acknowledge that my body has changed since then. I am still learning what it is capable of after surgery and this trip will be a perfect test. I am fully confident that it will be strong enough for this route, and after that, who knows? Maybe I will want to do a longer or more difficult trip on Rainier or another peak down the line. Right now, I am ecstatic to have the chance to take part in this climb.

Let the training begin!

On the Road

When Doug and I became a couple during college, our very first group purchase was a spatula. We were heading out on a camping trip and realized we would have no way to flip the pancakes we were making for breakfast the next day. We stopped at a grocery store en route to the park and pooled our funds to acquire the best turner that $1.99 could buy.

Our next group purchase was a bit more substantial — a slightly beat-up 1985 Toyota 4×4 truck. The lakes of northern Wisconsin, wilderness of Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, and craggy climbing areas outside of Madison were calling us, yet we had no reliable way of getting there. The truck became our key to adventure. Every weekend we would load it up and head out to the wilds. During a couple of college summers we hit the open road of the western United States for months on end — living out of the back of the pickup and stopping at every climbing area we could find along the way. Those weeks of roaming freely and opening the map each day to decide where we wanted to go next provided some of our most beloved memories together.

One of the things I longed to do most after surgery was to go on a climbing road trip again. I wanted to remember what it felt like to climb all day, cook up dinner at camp, talk about the day’s adventures over a crackling campfire, and then get up to do it all again the next day. Last summer, I wasn’t quite strong enough to rock climb. After training and gaining strength over the winter, my body finally felt ready to spend day after day doing climbing routes. In the beginning of September, Doug and I set out on a 17-day adventure that would include a week of climbing at City of Rocks in Idaho and several days of climbing at Smith Rock in Oregon. While in the Northwest, we also planned to spend time with some good friends who lived in Bend, as well as meet up with my parents for some sightseeing.

As we were traveling and climbing, I noticed that quite a few things had changed since our road trip days long ago:

  • There is now something called the internet. In our college days, I carried a small leather address book and actually wrote to my friends on paper while on the road.
  • Cell phones have replaced pay phones. We used to have to to load up our prepaid calling cards and look for a pay phone to let our parents know we were still alive. Now we just searched around Almo, Idaho, until we discovered the cell phone reception sweet spot. (It was pretty good at the northern-most table on the patio of the Rock Stop general store.)
  • Our trip food budget expanded to include things other than rice and ramen noodles. Though we still cooked most of our meals on this vacation, it was nice to have enough funds to enjoy the food and drink at some of Bend, Oregon’s great brewpubs with our friends.
  • We looked at some of the climbs we did at these areas in our early 20s and wondered how we had the nerve to get up them.
  • Our truck has been replaced by a tiny, fuel-efficient Toyota sedan. It is amazing how much camping and climbing gear we squeezed into that little rig. However, we did bottom out on some three-inch-tall rocks on Idaho’s back roads.
  • I now had an ostomy.

It was easy to forget about this last big change because things felt so much like they had in the past before I had gotten sick with UC and before I had surgery. I was just out there having fun and my stoma did not diminish the joy of a road trip one bit. Other than changing or emptying my appliance, or having to drink extra water to prevent myself from getting dehydrated, I hardly thought about my ostomy at all. It proved to be no trouble during long days on the road, while living in camp or while climbing long routes.

We shot a lot of footage on our road trip and will be putting together a video about the adventure soon. Until then, the following photos share some of the great times Doug and I had on the trip.

Climbing Theater of Shadows on Jackson’s Thumb at City of Rocks. This was my very first lead climb after surgery.
Rappelling off of a route at City of Rocks in Idaho.
Our very cool campsite at City of Rocks.
Sketching at camp.
I love donkeys. We encountered this cutie while walking near our friends’ house in Bend, OR.
Showing off a fresh wound after a full day of climbing at Smith Rock, OR.
Enjoying the McMenamins salt-water soaking pool in Bend, OR.
Spending time with my parents at Crater Lake.
Exploring the mile-long Lava River Cave near Bend, OR.
No road trip is complete without at least one stop at a giant roadside sculpture. Doug and I getting silly during a major windstorm at the huge Conestoga wagon near John Day, OR.

My first post-surgery multi-pitch climb: my imaginings turn into reality (feat. new video)

In the weeks after making my decision to have a permanent ileostomy, my imaginings of what life was going to be like after surgery played in my head like little movies. There was the one that featured me happily leading hikes with my ostomy at work, and another in which I pictured myself successfully emptying my appliance on backpacking trips. However, the one that I liked to imagine the most involved being on a long multi-pitch climb.

There I was in my mind–hundreds of feet up a steep route and anchored into a small ledge with the climbing rope. I would picture myself removing a full pouch, snapping on a new one and then bagging up the old and tossing it in my pack like it was no big deal at all–as if I had been doing it that way my whole life. I would gaze up at the many pitches yet to go and get ready to climb, barely thinking about my ostomy at all.

As I prepared for and recovered from surgery, these visualizations became an important source of hope for me. I really had no idea if the reality would end up exactly that way I pictured it, but having these images in my head gave me a goal to strive for. I really saw no reason I couldn’t do all the things I was envisioning once I healed up.

One by one, in the year and a half since surgery, I turned those images in my mind into  actualities. I jumped right back into work and led hikes and nature programs. I worked my way into backpacking, even going on an eight-day trip 10 months post-op. Snowboarding, swimming, yoga, biking, short climbs–my return to all these sports has been just as amazing as I had pictured they would be. But there was one thing that was still just a series of images in my head:  the multi-pitch climb. Would dealing with my ostomy on a long, hot climb with small belay ledges be as doable as I had imagined? After all, one of the main reasons I chose to have a permanent ileostomy over j-pouch surgery is that I personally felt it would be easier for me to manage on all-day climbs. I was a little nervous about  putting that notion to the test. As I built up strength in the 20 months since surgery, and worked through some hip and shoulder injuries, I continued to wonder what climbing a long route was going to be like with my ostomy.

Last weekend I finally found out as I went with Doug and his brother and dad to climb Devils Tower in Wyoming. We had all climbed this famous rock formation in 1992 and were excited to give it another go. This reunion-style climb with my family was more than I could have ever asked for as my first post-surgery multi-pitch climb. Being back on the rock with all of them was a blessing.

Our gang on the summit of Devils Tower, WY, 20 years ago.
Our same team on the summit in 2012.
We are tired and thirsty, but safely back at the base.

The 15-minute video below highlights our adventure on the Tower. As I watch it myself, I am in awe at how similar the real images are to the little movie that played in my head in the hospital. For climbing and so many other aspects of my life, the things I imagined and hoped for with my ostomy did turn into reality–a truly amazing reality.

The One Pass Ostomy Draining Device: a great product for the outdoors

Usually it is the big flashy things like climbing ropes, packs or tents that become my most coveted outdoor gear. Lately however, a much simpler and unassuming piece of gear has become one of my favorites.

A couple of months ago UPTT Inc. sent me a One Pass Ostomy Draining Device (OPODD) to try on my adventures. Due to my hip injury, I had to put off testing the device outdoors until a three-day backpacking in Rocky Mountain National Park in June. This, however, did not stop me from trying it indoors. The OPODD is an instrument with two flat rollers that clamps onto your pouch when you want to empty. With one downward motion, the device pushes all pouch contents swiftly out of the tail. Though it took a few tries to get used to the OPODD, once I had the hang of it I found myself reaching for the tool again and again. It is especially useful on those days when my output is thick and difficult to push out of the pouch. One quick swipe of the device and the output is forced out — no matter what its consistency.

I liked the device so much that I was soon using it every time I emptied at home. Though I usually leave the device at home because I seldom carry a purse, the slim design of the OPODD makes it easy to fit in a handbag or tote to be carried anywhere you go.

The OPODD clamps on the pouch. Emptying the contents only takes one smooth downward swipe.

After trying it out, I was convinced that the OPODD was great to use at home. Now it was time to take it into the wilderness with me. Ever mindful of my pack weight, I am very picky about what I choose to bring on backpacking trips. Something has to be highly useful to make the cut. It didn’t take long to realize how happy I was to have the OPODD along on my first backpack adventure of the season. In the middle of cooking dinner on our first night, the sky darkened and big heavy raindrops spilled from the sky. We swiftly donned our rain gear and dashed under the trees with our dinner. Despite being covered by tree branches and Gore Tex, my clothing soaked up the dampness and my teeth began to chatter from the chill. Leave it to my ostomy to decide that this was the best time to produce ample amounts of output. I had to make a trek to the camp privy in a full-on rain storm.

When I got to the backcountry restroom facilities (a pit toilet sitting out in the middle of the woods with no walls or roof), I quickly grabbed my OPODD, clamped it on my pouch, slid it down and had the contents emptied within seconds. Normally it would have been hard to manually work output to the tail-end of my pouch with such cold hands, but maneuvering the device was easy even with the chill-induced clumsiness.

Heading to the privy with my OPODD on a very chilly evening.

That night, the handiness of the OPODD proved itself again. When I do strenuous exercise such as backpacking during the day, my output often slows down or stops almost entirely. That means everything comes out later — often in the middle of the night. Getting up at 2 a.m and walking five minutes away from camp alone is unnerving.  Sitting down to empty my appliance by headlamp while surrounded by miles and miles of pitch black wilderness  spooks me out. It is one of those times when I swear twigs are being stepped on all around me, and I imagine mountain lions behind every boulder. Pulse racing and goosebumps fully engaged, I want to purge the contents of my pouch as fast as possible and get back to the tent. This particular night, I ended up having to endure this experience a couple of times. It was wonderful to be able to clamp the OPODD on my pouch, slide the contents out quickly and return to the comfort of my sleeping bag and the company of a snoring Doug.

My positive experiences that first day made the device completely worth its weight — and that is really the only issue with bringing the OPODD on outdoor trips. For those who try to backpack on the ultra-light side, the OPODD weighs in at 3.6 ounces. Not heavy by any means, but when one is trying to get their pack weight as low as possible, every ounce counts. Personally I feel that the extra weight is a small price to pay for the ease the device adds to emptying my pouch in the wilderness.

The only challenge I noticed with the OPODD was that it couldn’t slide over the Velcro at the end of my Convatec Pouches. This didn’t end up being an issue though. I would just push the output as far as the Velcro with the OPODD and then drain out the rest manually. This actually worked great because it prevents any output from getting on the device.

You can’t see my OPODD, but it is tucked in my pack as I head out on a backpacking  trip in the Mt. Massive Wilderness two weeks after the one in Rocky Mountain National Park. I plan to bring the OPODD on every wilderness excursion in the future.

As I continued to test out the OPODD, I  realized that it was going to become an indispensable piece of outdoor gear. Two weeks after the Rocky Mountain National Park trip, Doug and I were out in the backcountry again on a hike up Mt. Massive which included two nights of camping in the wilderness. This time the challenge was mosquitoes which swarmed around me every time I tried to empty.  One plus of having an ostomy is that you don’t have to expose your bum when emptying like you would when having a normal bm. Still, the skeeters were happy to attack the uncovered skin on my hands instead. The speed at which the OPODD allowed me to empty prevented me from getting many itchy bites.

From cold hands, to scary dark nights and blood-thirsty insects, the OPODD came to the rescue and allowed me to empty quickly and easily. I never plan to hit the trail without it again.

No Slowing Down for My Ostomy

Here are some clues that my schedule has become crazy busy lately:

  • This morning I tried to brush my teeth and put my socks on at the same time. It didn’t go well.
  • Dust bunnies are currently breeding out of control in all corners of my home. I am very glad they are peaceable creatures.
  • The two minutes it took for my oatmeal to cook one morning this week sounded like the perfect time to squeeze in some blogging.
  • I’ve seriously thought about putting on my running shoes while doing errands and chores to see if I can cut my time or get a personal best. I can fold a basket of laundry and put it away in five minutes. I am going for three.
  • I ate spaghetti with sauce from a jar for dinner three times this week.

It is hard not to over-schedule when I am feeling well. Everything sounds fun, and before I know it, I have filled my days with so many activities that I barely have time to sleep. I am still having hip pain, but it has lessened some. My orthopedist can’t find any cause other than a slightly deep hip socket joint that may be causing my bones to rub a bit. Regardless, he thinks it is something I will just have to live with. I can do that. My physical therapist is also working with me on hip alignment issues that could also be part of the problem. The good thing is that both of these individuals think it is fine to run and hike. Despite things hurting a little bit, I am thrilled to be out moving again and I am taking full advantage of every opportunity that presents itself. Doug and I have already gone on two three-day backpacking trips this month, and our summer is only getting started. Breed away dust bunnies… I am going to be ignoring you for a while.

Doug and I on top of Mt. Massive on our second backpacking trip of the season.

I remember wondering if I would ever be able have crazy hectic marathon-like days with an ostomy. Would I be able to manage it in a tight schedule? What about having enough time to empty? Could I eat at any hour of the day? This week was my busiest since surgery, and I am happy to report that insanely full days are completely possible with an ostomy.

On Saturday, I got up at 5 a.m. to go to City Park in Denver to run the Undy 5000. This is a run sponsored by the Colon Cancer Alliance. Proceeds from the race go to pay for colon cancer screenings for the underserved. We have been in the middle of a record heat wave in Colorado, and the high temperature for race day was 103 degrees. I tanked up on water, said hi to some of the people from my local ostomy association who were volunteering at the event, and headed for the start line. The heat was oppressive and I got nauseated during the run despite staying well hydrated. It was definitely not the day to push it, so I enjoyed a more leisurely pace and finished the run in roughly 31 minutes. Even with the heat, my ostomy appliance stuck fine. I indulged in some post-race treats and beverages, perused the booths and then headed home to take a shower and get on to the next activity of the day: a 9+ hour work day.

Showing off my undies in front of the inflatable colon at the Colon Cancer Alliance’s annual Denver Undy 5000.
Sporting my ostomy t-shirt from thegreatbowelmovement.org at the start line for the run.
Everyone gets in the spirit of the Undy 5000 by running in their underwear or other fun bum-related costumes.

Soon I was up in the foothills leading a Jr. Ranger event at one of the parks in the Open Space System where I work as a naturalist. I spent the next 4 hours in 90-degree heat running through a meadow helping youngsters catch insects and teaching about the amazing diversity of bug life in the park. After a quick sandwich-dinner and a practice music session with my coworkers, I told stories and played my guitar as part of an evening sing-a-long and storytelling program for the campers. When we finally packed everything up to head back to the trailhead, it was almost 10 p.m. I had gone full blast from roughly 5 a.m. until 10 p.m. and my ostomy did not slow me down one bit. The only thing that was challenging was staying hydrated, but I had brought a huge personal water container along to the park since there was no potable water there. I drank over 8 liters of water that day.

The next morning Doug and I were up early to head to a friend’s going away pool party. We swam for several hours in the morning and then had a delicious BBQ in the afternoon with burgers, brats and corn on the cob. (I am fortunate in that my ostomy tolerates possible problem foods well when I eat them in conservative amounts, chew a lot and drink plenty of water.) Later that evening we headed back to the pool. I had never been in the water for such a large percentage of a day since having surgery, but my wafer did just fine—even with numerous trips down the water slide and many cannonball jumps.

Doing laps on the water slide at my friend’s pool party.

The crazy week continued. Monday included a doctor’s appointment and an evening dinner with Doug’s parents. Tuesday was filled with work and then my local ostomy association meeting in the evening. I collapsed in bed at 11 p.m. only to get up at 4:30 a.m. for our local Bike to Work Day. It was another scorcher, but the temps weren’t too bad so early in the morning. I rode my bike 7 miles from my house into Golden, and then continued for another 6.5 miles up into the foothills to the park where I work. That part of the ride included 1,900 feet of elevation gain. That evening, I rode back home, ate dinner and went right to bed.

Arriving at my destination after 1,900’ feet of elevation gain during our local Bike to Work Day. My amazing coworkers left encouraging messages for me along my route.

As I type this, I am on the plane traveling to visit my parents for several days in Washington state. This wasn’t the aircraft Doug and I were scheduled to be on (and we certainly weren’t supposed to be in the first class section where we now sit). Our plane left Denver an hour late and we missed our connection to Seattle which also meant we missed the last flight to the small town of Walla Walla where Mom and Dad live. Suddenly life became a bit spontaneous as we had to completely rearrange our plans. The airline put us in first class for our next flight, gave us meal vouchers and are covering our lodging in Seattle until we can catch another flight to eastern Washington in the morning.

Through all these unexpected twists, I hardly even thought of my ostomy. My main curiosity was how my very first trip through airport security since surgery would be. I was fully expecting to have to say something about my ostomy to the TSA personnel. However, I didn’t mention it and went through the metal detector uneventfully like everyone else. I did get asked to run my baggage through the scanner again, but only because I failed to realize that I was supposed to remove my laptop from my luggage. Security didn’t even ask me about the scissors in my ostomy changing kit in my carry-on (which are allowed according to TSA because the blade is under 4 inches long). We shall see if Seattle airport security goes as smoothly with my ostomy.

Blogging while enjoying the surprise first-class seat assignment on the plane.

As soon as I get back home, I have four evenings after work to unpack from this trip and get my things ready for the next adventure: The Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of America’s Camp Oasis where I will be volunteering for a week as a camp counselor for children ages 7-13.

Through all these activities, my ostomy has faded into the background. I change my appliance twice a week, empty when I need to, eat when it fits in (many times as late as 9 p.m.), and drink a lot of water in the heat. Other than that, I can honestly say I don’t think about it a whole lot and it is not an inconvenience in my life. The longer I have my ostomy, the more I realize how normal everything feels with it– even during the busiest of times and when dealing with last minute changes in plans.

As great as it has been doing so many fun things this month, I know I can’t keep this pace up indefinitely. The dust bunnies will start to haunt me, a personal best at the time it takes to clean the shower will suddenly not sound so cool, and I will want to pull a cookbook off the shelf and actually make something decent for dinner. I am craving lawn chair time with an iced tea and good book instead of a huge “to do” list of things to pack for the next race, bike ride or outdoor trip. My ostomy hasn’t slowed me down one bit, but I think it is time to put the brakes on myself. Well… after the climbing trip we just scheduled for the end of the month that is.